It could be argued that Elgin attorney Jonathon Carbary wasn't really injured when the ample belly of opposing counsel, Aurora attorney Christopher Carroll, bumped into his (Sun-Times).
It all started inside the courtroom, when Carroll said he didn't appreciate how Carbary "dismissively" slammed a court document down on the table. Tempers continued to flare throughout the hearing and then the two men met outside, where the alleged "belly battery" occurred.
Carroll claims he simply brushed up against the plaintiff, calling both of them "obese middle-aged men" and that he just got a little too close. Carbary disagreed, responding to Carroll's statement to reporters with one of his own:
"I bike 1,200 miles a year. I'm 60 years old, but I'm not fat."
But weight is not at issue here. Carbary claims that Carroll came up to him "at a fast pace" while screaming and then chest-bumped him, comparing the action to celebrations common in professional sports. As to why Carroll was so upset? Carbary, asserting his toughness for not retaliating, told reporters:
"I never touched the man. I never raised my voice. If I took a punch at him, he'd be picking up his teeth, so I did a smart thing."
Carroll was arrested and then released on bail, which may add weight to Carbary's claim. As to his principles, Carbary actually said the following, apparently with a straight face:
"I would have let it go, but lawyers are supposed to set an example, and you can't have this happen."
Uh huh, right.
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